Seeing old friends is worth your time

I’m fresh back from a back-to-my-roots trip to Montreal, where I saw and partied with six people I grew up with and met a dear old friend I hadn’t seen in four years. It was time well spent, and here’s why.

I grew up with seven other Chinese kids about the same age. We all immigrated from the same city in China around the same time to the same neighborhood in front of McGill University. And no, this wasn’t planned. We met each other in Montreal. Until the core of us moved out about four years ago, we played hide-and-seek in the backyard together, hit pigeons with super soakers together and had annual holiday celebrations, barbeques and snowball fights together. Some of us went to the same schools, some not, and we were varying kinds of familiar with each other, but the fact remains that this was my crew, the only people with whom I would ever share my childhood. I didn’t choose them, but through years of tribulations we got along pretty well.

That’s why I went back to see them. They know every embarrassing childhood gaffe, every crush, every quirk about you. That’s a kind of special close that you don’t get with many people. They will be honest with you when no one else is, because there’s no shame in confiding in childhood friends. Hanging out with them gives me a peculiar feeling, a sense of incredible calm and familiarity, that not even my parents give me. This is the freedom to really be yourself and do whatever you want without fear of being viewed negatively. Don’t lose childhood friends; you’ll never find them  and this freedom again.

Dale Carnegie said in his book about relationships to keep contact with friends at least once in six months, if you cannot see them. Otherwise, they fade away from your life, and yours from theirs. This is your first professional network. Your friends will inevitably move to different parts of the world and different occupations, and you will surely have a chance to contact them professionally or at least in travel. Above all, they are a judge of your own success; you’ve seen them grow, you know which one has ambition, you can see how well they’re doing and you can motivate yourself to achieve based on their achievements.

I won’t detail the events that went down when we were together, because what happened between us stays between us, but make an effort to pick up the phone and reach out to your old friends. They are golden and you will enjoy the experience, if not simply to work on your social skills.